Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
