He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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