So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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