24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
