and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
All the doctor said was why
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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