I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Do vagina's smell?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
