What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize