Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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