Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
