you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
