How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
