hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
