I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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