Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
