shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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