if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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