Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
