I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
