Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
