i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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