Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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