I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
