Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
