The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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