Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
they're like a gay fantastic four
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
