She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
