i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
