The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
