I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Is it because I queefed?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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