I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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