You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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