I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
