and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
