physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
