the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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