I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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