i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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