you traded sex for a burrito?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
