marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I just googled if crying burns calories
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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