Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize