Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
