how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
