I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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