He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
