let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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