Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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