just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
