Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
