I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
