Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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