if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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