I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Randomize
