so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
