Welp...herpes.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
