she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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