I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
being pregnant is like rehab
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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