No awkward lesbian experiences without me
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
