So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
