My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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